I didnt search or visit my livejournal on purpose. I was there unintended. So since I'm there already then ya, I started reading my past entries .... read and read, there's this post with a picture Brother and you were in it. and i labelled "Favourite boys"

I kept staring at the picture as though it was freaking recent. but hell no it was a year ago when you were still alive and kicking.

Unpleasant thoughts just came hitting me on random timings. and this random thoughts are always the same. Its about you. Its about the thought you left, that instant moment you left, the last feelings I'd of you. Why are all these thoughts so freaking recent, so freaking the same . Yes I live life normally, i try. really hard..but... I miss you dearly. Always have the thoughts that you left forever, I cant bring myself to accept. But accepting or not its not even my choice. I am infact left with no options. I dont have magical powers to bring you back to life. I do not have.

If you're talking bout miracles, maybe...... no, i cant say its totally fake. Because I still remember that night when I wrote on my diary saying "If you ever hear me, come to jiejie dream, let me feel touch see you and ensure everything is ok" And on the same particular night, you did. you really really did. When I woke up I was dumb folded. Happy anot, glad, I don't know. All I knew was I know you heard me.

Enough said,

the tears seems to be on its verge again

whats new, anyway?